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erictcartman: (CartmanPB)

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Created on 2013-11-15 00:53:57 (#2117388), last updated 2014-04-21 (182 weeks ago)

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Name:Eric T. Cartman
Birthdate:Jul 1
Location:Fairplay, Colorado, United States of America
Website:SBURB RP

Your name is Eric Theodore Cartman and you think you're hot shit. Your experiences on Earth have been anything but normal, and this has made you believe that you're the EXPERT on everything. Oddly enough, you may be right in this regard considering things work in your favor most of the time. You're sure this is due to the fact that you were born to CHANGE THE WORLD and make everything AWESOME and COOL.

Unlike most people your age, you've practically been to hell and back and every stop in between. You're pretty sure everyone wishes they could be as BADASS as you are, but you know this to be impossible. There's not a person alive who's survived four plane crashes, manipulated a DARK LORD to do his bidding, CRAPPED TREASURE, or ground some kid's parents up into HOT PIPING CHILI and fed it to them. That said, you're as SOCIOPATHIC as they come.

You are absolutely obsessed with GLOBAL CONQUEST and the ERADICATION of everyone you dislike. You harbor a STRONG HATRED of JEWS, GINGERS, POOR PEOPLE, and HIPPIES - even though your closest friends embody one or more of these traits. This leads your peers to think you're more bark than bite, but you've been known to prove them wrong SPECTACULARLY. You're a bit of what they call an "ATTENTION WHORE", but you think they're just jealous of your UNMATCHED LEADERSHIP ABILITIES.

You're a GERMANOPHILE for all the wrong reasons, and you often throw in German phrases into your speech to show off how 'SOPHISTICATED' you are for being multilingual. When you're not being an ABSOLUTE FUCKING DISGRACE TO HUMANITY you listen to classic rock, play VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES, and plot a certain RED-HEADED JEW'S demise.

Your username is omnipotentDictator and you speak with a charismatic Voice that brings everyone within a fifty-foot Radius of you to their full Attention.

Bard of Hope, who do you pester first?


((many thanks to the people over at http://catingaytor.tumblr.com/ for making the perfect cartman face for SBURB))
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