erictcartman: (Default)

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] has started trolling omniponentDictator [OD] --



OD: No...

OD: Kenny and Stan got to you Guys, didnt he?

OD: You’re all doomed. Kill yourself now.

OD: There’s no Cure for Hippititus.

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] --

OD: Ay, so Eridan was it? Fishtroll? Seen you in the Memos my HomeTroll, still keeping it classy?

OD: get it because youre a classist Troll Nazi.

CA: not anymore

CA: hasnt your leader spoken wwith you yet

OD: You mean me? Have /I/ spoke to myself yet?

OD: No, I'm not a crazy Asshole.

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
-- bootyInspector [BI] started pestering omnipotentDictator [OD] --

BI: eric

BI: dude.

BI: :|


OD: Oh shit - I didn't give him Greek Wedding. Or Gypsy Weddings,

OD: Hold on he's got to watch that Shit.

BI: why do you even have that shit

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
--omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering incitedtoRiot [ITR]--

OD: Gregory, tell your fucking GRUNT to start LISTENING TO WHAT I TELL HIM.

OD: How are we supposed to fucking win this game if we can't even SHARE INTEL.

ITR: God, what.

ITR: I assume you mean Christophe?

ITR: Who, as I might point out, is not my grunt.

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)

--omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering hatesGuarddogs[HGD]--

OD: Christophe, what can you tell me about that Horse Troll?

OD: Does he really have a Boner for You?

HGD: quoi

HGD: what the fuck are you talking about

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
-- loves2Spooge [L2S] started pestering omnipotentDictator [OD]--

L2S: Hey asshole

L2S: I need you to set up shit in my game

OD: WHAT A COINCIDENCE! Look who it is!

OD: I was just talking about you to Karkat today, and how you're a drunk and won't accomplish shit.

OD: Of course you need Help.

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

OD: Sup Karkat.




OD: It's been a while, hasn't it? Just wanted to see how far along you Guys were. We're totally rockin it out on our Game.



Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] stopped pestering bootyInspector [BI] --

OD: Kenny, why do you think the trolls have been quiet?
BI: troll mating season, dude they all go into heat and spend a week having troll eggs or shit
Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
-- bootyInspector [BI] started pestering diip5hiitNugget [DN] --

BI: ericcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc sutp

BI: *stip

BI: *stup

BI: *sup

DN: Don't fucking tell me.

DN: Dont.

DN: Fucking.

DN: Tell Me.

BI: hahahahah

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)

--omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering hatesGuarddogs[HGD]--

OD: Christophe for the Love of Fuck

OD: How do you put up with that fucking Piece of Work you call a Boyfrend.

HGD: quoi

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
--omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering incitedtoRiot [ITR]--

OD: Alright Gregory, you're in the Game, you know the Ropes, you've met the Aliens - Now I think its Time to talk Business.

ITR: God. You're still insisting on these random capitals?

ITR: And what sort of business are you wanting to discuss? Preferably some sort of strategy regarding advancing through the levels? Or is that too much to hope for?

OD: Did you not see how the Trolls talk? They have Quirks too, I told you its a Game Thing!

ITR: Have you suddenly alchemised yourself into a troll?

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
--gallowCallibrator [GC] started trolling omnipotentDictator [OD]--


OD: Not another one.

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
--omnipotentDictator [OD] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]--

OD: Ay! You're Karkat right?

OD: I wanna know more about Quadrants and Terezi said you're an expert.

OD: A Pale Expert, to be precise.

OD: I really only want to know about this Blackrom thing though.



Read more... )

erictcartman: (Default)

OD: Are you a Troll?

OD: Is this going to give me a Troll Virus?

OD: Am I going to have one of your fucking Things jump from the Screen and mouthrape me and then somethings going to pop out of my fucking Stomach?

Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
--omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering incitedtoRiot [ITR]--

OD: Well well well. My how the Tables have turned. So who needs saving who's life now?

OD: Oh right, you need me to save your Ass.

OD: If you've read that Instruction Manual so much, why did you put yourself in this Situation?

ITR: I need your assistance in completing my entry into the session, just like every other damn player in this game.

ITR: This isn't news.

Read more... )

erictcartman: (Default)
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] began pestering bootyInspector [BI] at 17:08 --

OD: Kenny, seriously, there's something weird going on in this Game. Has anyone besides any of us IMed you?

BI: uhhh no dude but

BI: some fucking imp thing with killer tits killed me yesterday so you know

BI: ~ incommunicado ~Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling omnipotentDictator [OD]
OD: First off Kid, turn your fucking Capslock off. You're not intimidating anyone.
OD: Secondly? I'm like 6'0 and 270 Pounds. I eat Trolls like you for Breakfast and I've been gaming for much longer than you have. So save your "Wriggler Pretend Games" or whatever the fuck you just said for the Playpen and come back when you've got some Hair on your Balls. Maggot.
Read more... )
erictcartman: (Default)
CRONUS: hey good looking vwhat's cooking?

OD: Jesus fuck if I have to deal with your stupid fucking 'wwhining' one more fucking Night I am going to filet you over a Skillet you sappy Fish Fuck.Read more... )

erictcartman: (Default)
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] began pestering bootyInspector [BI] at 17:08 --

OD: Are you inviting me to play this weird Game Christophe was talking about or not?
OD: Id be kick ass at it and you know it.
BI: what?
BI: which game
OD: You know exactly what fucking Game Im talking about.
OD: Dont try to keep this a god damn Secret. I hear its supposed to be like one of the best Games ever made.
BI: that one thats like what the sims and shit?
BI: fuck that dude sims is for middle school girls
BI: come over and play call of duty
OD: Yeah! LORD KNOWS how you got a Copy of it. Did Christophe have to buy it for you or something? Or did you find some Key Online?
BI: I got all kinds of sources on shit
OD: And you know how I feel about Call of Duty. Its for total wannabe Fags who cant handle Fallout.
BI: whatever dude cod is fun times
OD: Not as fun-times as this fucking Game is supposed to be!
OD: I hear online, Ken, that like wicked Shit is supposed to go down and like pirated Copies dont work and everyones been trying to get their hands on it.
OD: I didnt believe Christophe got an actual Copy until he showed me, apparently its super hard to find.
OD: I HAVE GOT to play this.
OD: I mean, can you imagine how jealous Kyle will be when he hears I got one.
BI: you got a copy?
OD: Ja, but dont ask me how.
OD: People are buying Bootlegs left and right, but somehow I managed to get the right one.
OD: But its DUMB AS BALLS that you cant play alone.
BI: thats what fucking multiplayer means
OD: Its dumb that SOMEONE has to not only OWN the Game but fucking like, walk you through it or some Shit??
BI: lol
OD: No Kenny, fucking, did you read the fucking Instructions? Or was it too advanced a reading Level for you?
OD: Didnt Christophe like, set up your stupid whatever its called? Cruxaltor or whatever?
BI: dude my copy didnt come with instructions
BI: or we used them for rolling papers last night man I dont fucking remember
BI: ok so like gimme the deets on this shit
OD: So you didnt get the fucking Walkthrough.
BI: whatever dude its fucking world of simcraft how hard can it get
OD: Complacency of the Learned or whatever?
OD: Okay Dude like
OD: Dude its all like
BI: hah what the fuck is that
BI: it sounds like some dipshits electronica albumb
OD: "Sorry you installed this game because now the world is about to end."
BI: lol wow
BI: dark elves are nigh and shit
BI: theyre not even fucking around huh
OD: "Upon connecting with the client user, you, the server user, will be met with a control panel allowing you to manipulate your co-players environment."
OD: So you need to be my Server User.
OD: Heres a Manuscript of it,
BI: ok no thats too many words
BI: is there a sparknotes
BI: or like, a haley mitchell summary of the sparknotes
OD: UGH FUCK come on Asshole, this is fucking cool! Apparently you can, like, move Shit in my actual Room?
OD: Actually no wait dont do that…
BI: lol what
BI: like move what
OD: Actually maybe Ill just get Christophe to do this...
BI: you want him seeing all your porn mags under your bed dude
OD: You can move these fucking Machines that I have capchad in this sweetass KFCylladex.
OD: And do not fucking look under my Bed, Jesus fucking Christ do you want me to follow through on that Date with Karen?
BI: I dont have to hahaha I already know whats under there
OD: What the fuck do you mean you know whats under there?
OD: Are you saying you sneaked around in my fucking Room?
OD: Id expect this kind of Thing from Kyle, but you?
OD: What were you doing? Trying to score some Change so you can pay your Parents Bail?
BI: lol what
BI: dude do you not like, remember the last half of your birthday party last year
OD: Nein.
OD: Theres a reason for that.
BI: yeah lol didnt think so hahaha
BI: I warned you about jello shots man
OD: Well who the fuck decided to create such tasty Things and make a fucking Game out of it?!
OD: I got to fucking purple before vomming all over Clydes Pants.
BI: hahahahaha that was so sick dude
BI: that was the best fucking party
OD: You better fucking believe it was the best fucking Party. Now help me get this Shit figured out so we can have fucking Sim Parties up in this Joint.
OD: Dude, maybe I can make my room into a fucking Castle and build like a Dungeon and Shit.
OD: Kyle will be so pissed if I lock him down there before he gets a chance to play this wicked Game!
BI: man dude way to like
BI: make shit really
BI: wow
OD: What?
BI: ok yeah no building sexy dungeons
BI: whatre these machines and shit
OD: Uh…
OD: Hold on, I have to read this next Part.
OD: God damn it, why did they have to make this so fucking weird.
OD: Okay, so whatever this fucking cruxtruder is, like…
OD: Once you deploy this thing? We need to get moving and you cant fuck this up.
OD: Or so help you God I will come back as your fucking Game Ghost and haunt the ever-loving Fuck out of you.
BI: ok Im just not gonna touch it then
BI: what else
OD: No, Dude you have to eventually.
OD: Ugh hold on, Im going to check out what this Thing does.
BI: cool
BI: lemme go get a cigarette then
OD: Apparently, I can start making Stuff.
BI: thats cool
BI: dont blow it all on horse dildos
BI: Im gonna get a smoke gimme five min
OD: Dude, my Mom actually has one of those.
BI: ahahahahaha
BI: shes so fucking great man
OD: Maybe I can make a fucking Weapon out of it.
OD: Alright, Im going to go fetch that and like, fuse it with my killer Sai.
OD: So I press this and...
OD: Fuck fuck no, Ken this is freaking hilarious.
OD: Now Ive got like, Double HorseWang Stakes.
OD: Shit no, I have to make more Shit.
BI: what the fuck are you going to do with dickknives dude
OD: DUDE, have you seen anything as glorious as these fucking Dick Knives?
OD: Lets think of some more Shit!
OD: How about my Xbox and my wizard Hat?
BI: 2 gay pieces of shit into 1 bigger gay thing hahah do it
OD: Alright shit here it goes…
OD: Oh Dude its all black and chrome and stylin, and like, fuck now I can like play it with my Mind and
OD: oh shit, it just fell off my Head and shattered into a million Pieces.
BI: thats why the ps4 was the better system dude just sayin
OD: Now I have to go grab my other wizard Hat and think of something else to combine it with.
OD: What about my iPhone? Thats sturdier, I think.

OD: Great, now I just have a gayass wizard Phone.
BI: lol
BI: wizards suck anyway dude
OD: OKAY, um…
OD: Lets make me a cool fucking Outfit.
OD: Throw in my fucking black Coat and a military Book and combine every single commandant Coat in existence into one Coat.
BI: sounds heavy
OD: Nah, Im buff so its okay.
OD: Bam, okay lets try this on. Man its go so many fucking Buttons and Shit.
OD: I just made Napoleons Wetdream. This is like Armor x10.
OD: Okay now lemme combine this wizard Phone with these fucking Headphones.
BI: yeahhh the soothing dulcet tones
BI: of gandalf
BI: reading all your text messages
OD: Yeah Gandalf is gonna rea- yes
OD: Stimmt.
OD: I just made the MacKellen HeadSet.
OD: okay so I have DoubleWang Sai, Napoleons Wetdream…
BI: dude this sounds like a porno
OD: Now I have this MacKellen Headset, so what else do I need that DOES NOT sound like a Porno.
OD: This fucking KFCylladex is confusing as Balls.
BI: lol how does that even work
OD: I dont even fucking know. Each thing has its own Container, so I have to open up each Item and theyre packed down underneath all this Food. It ROCKS because I get to eat all this Shit, but then again, I have to dig through the whole god damn Bucket to get out one God damn Thing.
BI: youre gonna have a fuckin heart attack with that shit dude
OD: The Worlds apparently ending, who gives a Fuck.
OD: I guess Ill swap it out for a Medal Sylladex or something.
OD: Oh sweet yeah, and each Medal is like its own Storage thing. That works.
OD: Now I need a badass Hat.
OD: I can get like my shark Hat and combine it with like…
BI: a porno
BI: mag
OD: Perfect.
OD: Sharkporn Hat, hold on.
OD: Oh fuck, I dont think this worked.
OD: We have to start again.
BI: lol whatd you get
OD: A Monstocity that can not see the Light of Day.
BI: lol txt me a pic
OD: Youre my server Player! Cant you see this Shit from your Screen?!
BI: oh shit yeah sorry dude Im on my porch smoking
BI: this phones a pos it wont run games
OD: Behold this piece of shit.

BI: ahahaahah what the fuck
BI: dude are you looking at like clown porn or shit
BI: thats fucked up
BI: clowns are gross
OD: Must have been one of the Ads in it or something.
BI: thats some kinky shit man
OD: Right, I fucking hate the Ads in porno Mags.
OD: Okay I have to make some killer Boots and a cooler Hat.
OD: I think Im going to combine that fucking future Phone and my old Hat.
BI: your mom has some pretty killer boots
BI: haha
OD: Shut the Fuck up.
OD: Im making fucking TimePhoneHat.
BI: lol
OD: Okay thats done.
OD: Now for some kickass Boots and Ill be done alchemizing.
OD: Omg Ken, new Idea.
OD: Go fetch that big-ass Drill sitting out in that Field and alchemize it with my Gun.
BI: hahahah ok hold on
OD: Yeah drag that Shit over here.
BI: watch for the uh
BI: oh shit
BI: lol sorry
BI: dude these controls suck balls
OD: Youre lucky Im not going to need my fucking Car for anything.
BI: this is like trying to play fucking halo on my fucking phone
OD: Just set the fucking Drill down and let me make my Gratefully Dead Gun.
BI: ok ok here
OD: BOOM! Yeah fucking look at this Shit.
OD: Way better than fucking DoubleWang.
OD: Alright now the boots uh... wait Ken, can you fucking like…
BI: what?
OD: Okay, if I tell you WHERE in the Pentagon a Portal is…
OD: could you go fetch it for me?
OD: I could make fucking portal Boots.
BI: dude the screen doesnt move that far
BI: its like
BI: to the edge of your yard
BI: a little of your neighbors fense but thats it
OD: Do /I/ have a portal?
OD: No, those fucking Dorks decided to keep the time Machine.
BI: idk man whats something that works like a portal
BI: portals and time machines are different anyway dude duh
OD: I guess I can alchemize my Boots with that alien Satellite in my Ass.
BI: lol jesus
OD: Can you like... click on my Ass and see if it selects?
BI: this is getting pretty gay dude
BI: cant you click your own ass
OD: Just think about what this entails, Ken. Id have alien Technology combined with my fucking Shoes.
OD: I can communicate to Satellites and beam People to anywhere I want!
BI: yeah but Im not clicking your ass man
BI: thats weird
OD: Then click my Back or something! Just keep fucking clicking until it selects!
OD: Dont think of it as gay, think of it as necessary for the Survival of the human Race.
OD: Apparently, with the World ending and all.
BI: yeah right lol Ive seen that shit before this isnt even close
OD: I dont know, Dude. This Guide looks pretty serious.

BI: ok dude did it click right I cant even fucking tell this controllers like
BI: 100000 pixels
OD: Wait, click it again.
BI: ok how about now
OD: Erm, I can actually feel that. Sick.
OD: Alright I guess uh, drag me to the fucking Alchemizer. The boots are already there.
BI: lol dude I need a drink after this
OD: Ill need a Cigarette for sure.
BI: lol
OD: We should alchemize them both and make booze Cigs.
BI: nasty
BI: that shit is straight up wrong dude
OD: Alright, you ready?
BI: lol sure
OD: I hope this doesnt hurt.
OD: Be gentle, Ken. I hope you can look at me the same way Tomorrow.
BI: lol christ
BI: ok theres your uh
BI: tv boots? dude wtf
OD: That was the strangest fucking…
OD: What the Hell are those Things.
BI: so not worth it hahahah
OD: Whatever man, we dont have Time. I guess I have to make use of them.
BI: ok so wtf next
BI: this game is pretty shitty so far dude I gotta say
OD: We need to get to this totem Lathe and apparently stick this Card in.
BI: watching you put dicks and wizards all over shit is like
BI: old hat
OD: You dont miss it? Well Im hurt.
BI: idk dude you fucked around and blew all your gushers money
OD: My dick Sai would have been epic on the Battlefield.
BI: it wont let me buy the
BI: laithe thing
OD: Oh shit, that gusher Money is important?
OD: Are you fucking telling me I have to sell something now?
BI: quick get some gushers from the kitchen hahaha
OD: ... think thatll work?
BI: nah
OD: Fuck.
BI: wait no shit wait wait wait
BI: what if you like
BI: took the gushers
BI: and like a fifty
BI: and put it in the thing
BI: mccormick you sly dog
OD: God I hate to say this but…
OD: I bet you know where my Moms whore Money is, dont you?
BI: hey no way dude
OD: Oh thank God.
OD: Also Shit, then where are we gonna get the Cash?
BI: the day I fuck liane cartman is the day its because shes marrying me lol
BI: dude you seriously dont have any fucking cash for real
OD: I do, but Id rather not use it!
OD: Ugh fine, I guess I dont have a choice. I was saving it up for something important.
BI: yeah but the ~~~~world is ending omg ~~~~~ so whatre you saving it for
BI: carp diam and shit
OD: None of your Business.
OD: Maybe Ill tell you if you can get me out of this Fuckmess.
BI: dude I so dont care lol
OD: Fick dich!
OD: Fine, lets make some freaking gusher Money and get this lathe Thing started.
BI: yeah
OD: Alright there we go, is that enough?
OD: This Shit is making me hungry.
BI: dont eat it lol
BI: yeah ok where you want this thing
BI: the hallway?
OD: Uh, yeah that works.
OD: Damn, why the Hell are these Things so freaking huge?
BI: I dunno dude but none of this shit is gonna fit in my house if were doing me next
OD: Well do it in your Backyard.
OD: Apparently theres some Crystal I need to place on the Mount and insert this Card.
BI: ok a crystal lol
BI: wheres that
OD: Fuck if I know.
BI: uhhhhhhh huh ok so you got the
BI: combiner thing
BI: the laith thing
BI: the thing were not stupposed to touch
OD: Yeah thats here. We just dont have the fucking Crystal and these Instructions dont say where to find the stupid Thing.
OD: Apparently its called a "cruxite Dowel".
OD: Oh Shit, maybe its in my Medal Sylladex.
BI: dude the thing thats no-touching is called a cruxtrooper
BI: cruxtruder
BI: wtf it sounds like an erectile dysfunction drug
BI: crux - cruxite, whatever
OD: Do you think that makes it?
BI: I dont fucking know dude read your instructions lol
OD: I think it does, but I think this is what also starts the motherfucking Countdown.
OD: So once we activate this Thing and get the Crystal were...
OD: Were gonna do this Game for real.
OD: Awesome, this is going to be totally killer.
OD: Alright lemme get this fucking Crystal.
BI: alright lemme get a couple beers then too like
BI: if were getting down to business to defeat huns and shit
OD: I think I push this Thing in and
OD: oh fuck there it goes there it goes KEN NO TIME FOR BEERS! FUCKING…
OD: We need to get this thing to the Lathe!
OD: Oh my god Ken, youre going to ruin this!
OD: Youre going to ruin this whole fucking Game and now the World is gonna end and Ill never get to use Gratefully Dead or my alien Boots!
OD: Worse yet, Ill never get laid by the Robot that I was totally going to make when you werent looking.
OD: Oh wait youre not looking, okay.
OD: Heres my fucking Chance. Lemme grab this picture and this robot arm…
BI: dude what
BI: I was gone like 4 seconds
BI: do your crystal magic makeup thing
OD: Uh, This isnt what it looks like.
BI: man
BI: what the fuck
OD: OKAY THERES NO TIME! Get me and RoboKyle to the fucking Thing and drag that Crystal over to the Lathe!
BI: dude Im so telling Kyle about this shit, jesus fuck
OD: It was an ACCIDENT! This wasnt supposed to look like Kyle, it was supposed to look like a Pornstar. I dont know how my blackmail Pictures got mixed in.
OD: Ill fix it when I get there.
BI: yeah ok so like, heres the crystal thing
BI: but this round glowing thing popped out too?
OD: Glowing Thing?
OD: Oh Shit, thats the thing I read about.
OD: Its a fucking Ghost. I can throw something in it and prototype it.
BI: hah put the robot in it
OD: Sweet okay lets fucking do it. Here goes nothing.
BI: whatd it do?
OD: Crap.

BI: hahahah it looks pissed
OD: Was I even supposed to do that?
OD: That Thing looks like it wants to chop off my fucking Head.
BI: I dunno dude its not attacking you yet so like
BI: roll with it?
OD: Sure, why not.
OD: Alright so, now what? I guess I can start making this fucking Artifact.
BI: yeah dude the crystalpooptrude has a timer now
OD: Ughhh, how long is it going to take to make this Thing?
BI: fuck if I know dude just do it
OD: Im SHOVING it in.
BI: man dude you gotta work on that if youre gonna get a gf
OD: We have to save the World first, apparently. I think thats plenty to woo a Girl with.
OD: Besides, shell be impressed if I have to SHOVE it in. It wont be like throwing a Hotdog down an Alley, I assure you.
OD: Isnt that right, angry Robot Kyle.
OD: Do you think it understands me?
BI: I dunno dude, call it something racist
OD: Hey Kyle, can you hear the Voices of all your slaughtered Ancestors now youre ghost Jewbot?
OD: Oh yeah, he heard that.
BI: hahahah damn
BI: that thing smacked the shit out of you
OD: I didnt think it could! I guess this thing is corporal.
OD: Why cant I understand it though? I guess its voice Box is busted.
OD: Sweet.
BI: throw some speakers in it too lol
OD: Ugh, do I have to?
OD: Alright heres my fucking Laptop, its got a Mic and Speakers.
OD: Crap, that Timers almost out.
BI: ok lol well stop fucking around
BI: whats the crystal for next
OD: Heres the Laptop and heres fucking UGH, GET OVER HERE JEWBOT.
OD: Okay, its gonna make an Artifact and as soon as I fucking touch it, the Guide says Im in the Game. Im gonna throw the Laptop at Kyle and touch the Artifact at the same Time.
OD: Apparently its a fucking... hold on its almost done.
OD: Its a, Star?
OD: Okay sweet, are you freaking ready for this Ken? This is going to be the best Thing weve ever fucking done.
BI: dude I dunno I fucked Heather Johnson last year at spring fling
OD: Point taken. Itll be pretty close to the coolest Thing weve ever done.
OD: Alright, Imma chuck this thing into Kyle and touch this Star.
RoboKyleSprite: CARTMAN, YOU SON OF A -
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] has entered The Medium --
BI: *drinks beer*


erictcartman: (Default)
Eric T. Cartman

April 2014

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