erictcartman: (Default)
[personal profile] erictcartman
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] started trolling kvetchingTechsupport [KTS] --
KTS:
Cartman.
KTS:
We need to talk.
KTS:
And I mean now.
OD:
Kyle, I'm kinda busy floating around watching some reruns of Gypsy wedding.
OD:
What do you want.
KTS:
What I want is to fix this massive fucking mess you created, Cartman
KTS:
By the way, you do know you're more at risk there
KTS:
Then back here, right.
KTS:
Zahhak is planning on taking you out of the void because NEWSFLASH he has void powers
KTS:
And oh
KTS:
My god
KTS:
I just spent the last few hours
KTS:
Trying to talk down their leader
OD:
Flattered Kyle.
KTS:
No I'm not doing this
OD:
Flattered.
KTS:
NO
KTS:
NO IT WASN'T FOR YOU
OD:
You know, admitting your pitch feelings for me over aim isnt' that romatic.
OD:
How about I find a way out of here and meet you at your planet.
KTS:
Listen, this Wednesday, be there, 5pm, on the dot, Derse.
OD:
So we can do this properly.
KTS:
I will fuck you up Cartman
OD:
Nope.
KTS:
And will you fucking shut up over that, I am not eating your bullshit, fatass
OD:
We have to have our hate date first.
OD:
I have to show you my stone wall I made.
KTS:
Oh my god
KTS:
There is no "hate date"
OD:
Uh, yeah there is.
KTS:
Stone wall?
KTS:
What
OD:
Learn troll relationships Kyle.
OD:
Yeah!
KTS:
Dude I shouldn't even be fucking talking to your ight now
KTS:
Do you know what thin ice you are on
OD:
Ask your redcrush, Beetroll.
KTS:
You have no idea how much bullshit I have to go through just so we can work with these guys again
KTS:
What redc-
KTS:
DUDE
KTS:
I'VE TALKED TO HIM
KTS:
MAYBE LIKE
KTS:
EVER
OD:
Yeah he's obsessed with twos.
OD:
Theres a reason its only been twice.
KTS:
Oh jesus christ, Cartman you know
KTS:
Trolls might have this big fantastic culture and all
KTS:
But in the end of the day
KTS:
They aren't a lot different from us
KTS:
And they are fucking pissed as shit off that you can't see the difference between them wanting to KILL YOU and somehow
KTS:
God I don't even know
KTS:
I don't even know if this is going to work, but I shouldn't even have to be slaving away over something so fucking stupid so YOU don't end up dying or fucking up our game or relations with these trolls.
OD:
You didn't have to do shit! I didn't ask you!
OD:
I'm going to FINE
KTS:
Yeah well you know what
KTS:
No it isn't
KTS:
You don't seem to understand how serious things are for you, fat ass
OD:
and I'll show up to our little hate date once I FIND AN EXIT OUT OF THIS VOID and it'll all be great.
KTS:
Anyways, I promised Stan I wouldn't get too involved
OD:
Stan can go FUCK himself if he thinks he's going to be our ash.
KTS:
THERE IS NO HATE DATE
OD:
FUCK HIM.
KTS:
WILL YOU STOP THAT
KTS:
what
KTS:
Ash
KTS:
dude
OD:
It's the third wheel quadrant.
KTS:
Cartman I am, I swear to god, so fed up right now
KTS:
You do NOT want to push my buttons
KTS:
Knock it off right now
KTS:
No one thinks you're a troll
KTS:
No one fucking believes your a troll
KTS:
And NEWSFLASH
KTS:
YOU AREN'T A TROLL
KTS:
Anyways. Look. I'm just saying. Things are bad right now.
KTS:
I want you out of the void.
KTS:
I'm contacting Christophe later to try and pull you out before Zahhak has the chance
KTS:
I've been talking to Karkat about pacifying the other trolls in the mean time
KTS:
While Stan tries and talks with them too. We're getting Gregory on board as well
KTS:
So you better not fuck this up
KTS:
You hear me
OD:
what.
OD:
You got GREGORY involved?
OD:
WHAT THE FUCK
OD:
I could have HANDLED this myself!
KTS:
Yeah because you've been doing such a stellar job before I arrived
KTS:
Real fucking good job at making an entire race of killing monstrous aliens set on your death, fatass
KTS:
Karkat actually IMed me over how bad the situation was, so I'm not having fucking any of it, alright
OD:
I'm not having you guys think that you saved me or bullshit.
OD:
I'm not even going to entertain that notion.
KTS:
OHhhhhh oh no
KTS:
No, no, no Cartman, you see this Tuesday
OD:
I was PLANNING on using my HOPE POWERS for once.
KTS:
I am going to fucking kick your ass
OD:
To make everything FINE.
OD:
Sure, hate date.
KTS:
Oh yeah, okay, because clearly you have
OD:
yes.
OD:
I agreed.
KTS:
NO NO HATE DATE
KTS:
This is just me, beating the shit, out of you, pacifying those trolls and getting the fuck on with our lives
KTS:
I don't want
KTS:
Ten fucking aliens
KTS:
Pounding at my door because you are an insensitive, intolerable asshole
KTS:
The last thing we need is a war with each other, Cartman, and I know for the love of god you can't see that.
OD:
Of course I do!
OD:
Did you not LISTEN to my first conversation with you at all!?
OD:
Look at you trying to fuck up my plans again
KTS:
Oh my god
KTS:
Cartman, this isn't about your plans
OD:
JESUS Kyle, maybe I SHOULDN"T have hoped you into the game after all.
KTS:
Yeah, well, maybe you should't've; then the trolls would've already been slaughtering you
KTS:
Or at least sold front row tickets for it
KTS:
For once in your life, listen to me, Cartman.
KTS:
If you don't handle this right, and actually learn the troll culture and not some bullshit intolerant fucked up view of it
KTS:
You're going to get killed
KTS:
And I already told you I'm sick of being the one that has to clean up your goddamn mess
OD:
Too bad there's no mess for you to clean up.
OD:
I knew it gave you purpose.
OD:
but now that we're trying this pitch thing you have to learn to just go with the hate.
OD:
Stop trying to fix it!
OD:
And just... relish it.
KTS:
No. No. No. I give up. I've just spent an hour fuck session trying to patch things up with the trolls
KTS:
The leader, of which, thinks there is no solution
KTS:
I'm not going to try and figure out what scheme you have here Cartman
KTS:
I'm just too tired for that right now, okay so don't even start with me
OD:
No scheme!
OD:
I'm totally serious
KTS:
Uhuh, sure.
OD:
dude I'm tired too.
OD:
Do you know how long I've been trying to find an exit?
OD:
Since I WENT INTO this thing!
OD:
It SUCKS out here.
OD:
Fucking Cthulu monsters.
KTS:
Cartman, odds are you can't get out without Christophe's or Zahhak's help.
OD:
All pissed off,
KTS:
What, cthulu monsters?
OD:
WHATEVER FYCK THEM
OD:
The fucking horrorterrors!
OD:
Or
OD:
whatever,
OD:
yeah.
KTS:
Dude...they're there?
OD:
Yeah!
OD:
Duh!
OD:
Theyre like a HUGE fucking part of the game we haven't figured out yet.
KTS:
Yeah, I know...
KTS:
I promised Kenny I'd look into them.
KTS:
Like, figure some of that out.
KTS:
Since I'm on Derse
OD:
But you can't talk to them.
OD:
Princess Troll can.
OD:
You should talk to her.
KTS:
Princess troll? Who's that?
OD:
But don't go red for her she belongs to Fish troll.
OD:
cuttlefishCuller
OD:
or whatever
KTS:
Oh my god, Cartman no one is going red or whatever the fuck all for anyone
KTS:
Unlike you, I seem to be focused on actually beating this game
OD:
UH ME TOO
OD:
did you NOT hear how I figured out the troll
KTS:
Anyways, I'll try and hit her up. I've only seen two girls though, Tarena or whatever Kenny said, and Nepeta
OD:
's weaknesses?
OD:
yeah you go do that
KTS:
You figured out how to get them to be set on killing you, that's for sure
OD:
I'm going to TOTALLY get out ON MY OWN
OD:
and defend myself ON MY OWN
OD:
and you guys can
OD:
go
OD:
suck the troll's Dickvaginas.
OD:
Which I've done before.
KTS:
Uhuh, sure you are, Cartman.
KTS:
We have all the faith in you.
OD:
You should.
OD:
Asshole.
OD:
Hate you too.
KTS:
Ugh, dude. Look, just, try for the love of god to not do anything drastic, Cartman.
KTS:
And if you're going to plan some troll king conquest: a tip of advice, okay. Try and do it WITHOUT pissing off people who WILL make a sport of hunting you down, publically torturing you before swimming in your own blood.
OD:
Aren't they awesome?
KTS:
Ugh jesus christ
KTS:
Let's cut the bullshit Cartman. If I'm going to be on this
KTS:
And I mean actually on this
KTS:
I need to know what's happening
KTS:
Just
KTS:
Tell me you have an actual, real
KTS:
Actual plan
KTS:
That isn't retarded and suicidal
KTS:
With all of this
KTS:
Like, that's really all I need right now. So I know that this isn't going to actually fall to shit, and that our teams aren't going to start killing each other
OD:
What did I tell you.
OD:
I'm not telling you any of my plans.
OD:
You'll just try to stop me.
OD:
So FUCK YOU Kyle,
OD:
I know you tried to spell off one of your gay speeches to the trolls
OD:
Jew them out of their shit
OD:
but I'm smarter than that.
OD:
So... yeah.
OD:
Fuck you and your Rage.
KTS:
Oh are you. So what you think this whole thing is just me trying to undermine you
KTS:
Newsflash, fatass, right now I'm the only thing between you and dying
KTS:
The only thing I care about right now, is winning this game
KTS:
Yeah eventually that, but jesus christ
OD:
eventually what
OD:
fucking you and your rage?
KTS:
Just, forget it.
OD:
Woah woah now Kyle, we haven't even gone on our first hate date.
KTS:
Cartman, I'm not doing this with you okay. Not tonight.
OD:
Alright fine, then I guess I'll just see you at our date.
OD:
That's not a date.
KTS:
Fine.
KTS:
And it's not. A date.
KTS:
IT'S NOT
OD:
Alright Kyle.
OD:
Even the trolls sense how you feel so.
OD:
Have fun with that

[[od stopped trolling KTS]]

KTS:
No, they sense that I'm willing to do unbelievably stupid things to keep this game running
KTS:
And from getting even more of our players killed
KTS:
Since apparently Kenny and Christophe aren't enough.
KTS:
SHit

[[KTS stopped pestering OD]]

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Eric T. Cartman

April 2014

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