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-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] has unblocked omniponentDictator [OD] ! --

CG:
IS BEARD ENVY A REAL HUMAN PHENOMENA
OD:
Well Well Well, look what the cat threw up in the litter box.
CG:
ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION OR I'M BLOCKING YOU AGAIN
OD:
Or should I say, kar-cat?
OD:
Okay fine.
OD:
It totally is a thing.
CG:
DO HUMANS GET ENVIOUS OF OTHER HUMANS AND THEIR NASTY FACIAL GROWTHS
CG:
GODDAMMIT
CG:
WHY
CG:
THAT'S FOUL
OD:
It's the same thing as Dicks, Dude!
OD:
Our friend Kevin?
CG:
NO. NOTHING ABOUT HUMAN BULGES
OD:
Is BEYOND PISSED He can't grow a manly beard.
OD:
He just has straggly Asian hairs.
CG:
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR SHITTY HUMAN GEOGRAPHIC CASTE DESIGNATIONS
OD:
I mean when he's 80 he might get one of those Wise Old Asian guy beards.

CG:
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
OD:
but he'll NEVER grow one like I will.
CG:
YEAH WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST GROW THEM
CG:
THEN WE CAN ALL SPEND MANY A FANTASTIC HOUR PUKING OUR GUTS OUT
CG:
FUCK YOU AND FUCK STAN
OD:
Same reason you seeminly can't grow big horns, bro!
OD:
Some people have it and some don't!
OD:
Luck of the draw.
OD:
Fucking dumb as shit, though. I commiserate.
OD:
I could be so much taller.
OD:
I mean I already have a big dick and gigantic balls, but fucking christ 6'5 would have been AWESOME,.
CG:
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT YOU'VE VIOLATED THE RULES OF THIS MEMO
OD:
Don't block me yet
CG:
TALKING ABOUT HUMAN BULGES WAS SPECIFICALLY BANNED AND YET, LIKE A BRAVE NEW EXPLORER INTO STUPIDITY UNSEEN, YOU WENT THERE
OD:
I have a question.
CG:
...WHAT
OD:
So uh
OD:
what do you think of Bee Troll?
CG:
BEE...TROLL.
OD:
Sollux, whatever.
CG:
THAT WAS SO HARD!!
CG:
WHAT WITH BEING TWO LETTERS LESS AND EVERYTHING
OD:
Ay! At least I didn't call you fucking "Shouty!"
CG:
GOOD BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE FUCKING BLOCKED YOU IMMEDIATELY
OD:
Avoiding the question, huh?
OD:
knew it.
CG:
KNEW WHAT
OD:
It's okay, you're secret's safe with me.
CG:
I'M KIND OF BUSY HERE WITH A MORE INTOLERABLE HUMAN THAN YOU (SOMEHOW) SO IF YOU COULD STOP WAVING IT AROUND THE FROND AND ACTUALLY USE THOSE THINGS CALLED WORDS IT WOULD BE
CG:
NOT APPRECIATED, BECAUSE LIKE FUCK I NEED TO APPRECIATE SOMEBODY MEETING MINIMAL EXPECTATIONS
OD:
If everything goes as planned? Your moirail will never know.
CG:
LESS WORTHY OF MY UTTER CONTEMPT, MAYBE
CG:
WHAT?
CG:
WHAT THE *FUCK* DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY MOIRAIL
CG:
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
CG:
I WILL FALL ASLEEP AND COME OVER THERE AND STRANGLE YOU, I SWEAR TO FUCK
OD:
Do you WANT to get laid or not?!
CG:
WOW *WHAT*!?
OD:
I'll take that as a yes.
CG:
NO. WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, DROP IT
OD:
Listen, it's okay Karkat.
OD:
I know you don't want to piss Eridan off.
OD:
but when it's meant to be, it's meant to be, you know?
CG:
SEE THIS IS SO FUCKING TYPICAL
CG:
HERE I WAS, CONFIDENT AND ASSURED THAT THE STUPID FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH THE OTHER HUMAN HAD REACHED THE LOWEST FORM OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
CG:
SURELY, PAST KARKAT THOUGHT, LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT, THIS IS THE WORST
CG:
NOTHING WILL EVER REACH THIS LOW
CG:
AND, AGAIN, LIKE A PANADDLED WIGGLER RETARD, HE TOOK SOLACE IN THAT FACT
CG:
BUT HERE WE ARE
CG:
AND SOME UGLY ALIEN IS... PALE SOLICITING (?????) ME
CG:
FUCK YOU, UNIVERSE
OD:
I'M NOT PALE-ING YOU
OD:
I'm MERELY assisting you
OD:
in your quest to get Laid and set things right with the Hemospectrum.
CG:
I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING QUEST TO GET LAID
CG:
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT COLOR MY BLOOD IS
OD:
Or else you get KILLED right!?
CG:
GOD DAMN YOU PAST ME YOU WERE THE WORST OF ALL THE FUCKING KARKAT
CG:
I'M BLOCKING YOU
CG:
THIS HAS GOTTEN TOO FUCKING STUPID TO HANDLE
CG:
IF KTS DOESN'T KICK YOUR ASS I'M GOING TO MYSELF BEFORE SOMEBODY ELSE DECIDES TO MAKE IT PERMANENT
OD:
I already got what I needed to know.
OD:
So go ahead, I dare you. You'll just be back to see whats up.
CG:
NOPE, MAXIMUM STUPIDITY HAS BEEN REACHED, I'M DONE

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] has stopped trolling omniponentDictator [OD]! --

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Eric T. Cartman

April 2014

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