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-- omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] --

OD: You're kitty girl, right?
AC: :33 < *ac looks up from her comfurrtably curled up position to acknowledge the stranger with kitty indifference*
OD: Yup.
OD: This is Kitty Troll.
OD: So what, you freaking RP to talk?
AC: :33 < *ac tilts her head to the side curiously and replies mmrrooow what's it to you bub >:33 *
OD: Nothing, gay means nothing to you anyway so.
OD: Whatever.
OD: Sup! I'm Eric Cartman and I hear you're the Troll's main resource on all thing s Quadrant related.
AC: :33 < hmm?? yes!!
AC: :33 < *ac licks her paws and rubs her face and remembers something quite impurrtent!*
OD: What's impurrtent?
AC: :33 < i was told not to talk to you because you are a big fat creepo :((
OD: Oh.
OD: That was Sweaty troll, wasn't it.
OD: You're not going to actually let him rule your life, right?
AC: :33 < sweaty is my most special moirail OF COURSE he doesn't rule my life but i've heard some tails about YOU mr human
OD: Anything you heard was old news.
OD: I'm learning now all about Troll culture and that's why I'm messaging you.
AC: :33 < hmmmm
AC: :33 < hmmmmmmmmmmm
OD: I need to know the ships. All of them.
OD: In detail.
AC: :33 < *ac pawses for a lickety split second in d33p d33p consideration*
OD: I can help.
OD: I want to help.
AC: :33 < * help? with what? ac asks pawnderingly*
OD: Making all the right ships happen.
OD: And in the mean time, learn how to become a better Kismesis.
OD: Sollux told me the fuck off an now I'm more determined than ever to be the best Black Lover ever.
AC: :33 < oh!
AC: :33 < well a certain someone might not like it one bit if i act on my own
OD: Who is that?
AC: :33 < but i'm sure it's no big trouble for anyone simply teaching stuffs about the romances
AC: :33 < and you've crawled into the right cave for that!
OD: Yeah like, what are the ships right now?
OD: Who is with who?
AC: :33 < hehehe nevermind them they're dumb and silly
OD: I only know about FishTroll an BeeTroll's Black romance, your moirallegiance with Horse Troll
OD: his Red thing with the Robot
OD: And that's like... it.
AC: :33 < *ac pads her way over to od's leg and swishes her tail to lead the way. she says come here and take a look at the shipping wall! with bright eyes*
OD: Oh my god so you're actually like, a cat.
OD: That's so dumb but so cute.
OD: I miss my cat so FUCKING much.
OD: Alright so, whats this shipping wall?
AC: :33 < aww, i miss my pretty lupus pounce de leon too :((
OD: Oh shit was that her name?
AC: :33 < yesss
OD: My cat's name was Mr. Kitty.
OD: She was gray and she liked taking selfies.
OD: With bread around her head.
AC: :33 < oh what a goofy sounding friend i bet we would have gotten along!
OD: Yeah she was pretty fucking sweet.
OD: And now there are no cats.
AC: :33 < yeah :((
OD: Well, except you - are you ACTUALLY a Cat Girl?
OD: Like a real one?
AC: :33 < pawsibly!
AC: :33 < ok back to business though so pay attention, this is impurrtant
OD: Man I usually troll the SHIT out of girls like that on Tumblr, but something tells me you're the real thing.
OD: Alright alright, I'm purring attention.
AC: :33 < also i totally knew you were a meanie butt creep
AC: :33 < *ac points with a claw to the flushed ships*
OD: I'm not anymore!
OD: I don't care about desperate geek girls anymore, now I'm into saving the fucking world.
OD: Oh shit those are the red ones?
OD: There's not a lot, it looks like there's only one - Equius and the Robot girl.
OD: The other ones are just crushes right?
OD: Well THAT pairing is okay since she's a robot and not a lowblood anymore. Not really, at least.
AC: :33 < well i don't give a crap about lowblood highblood nonsense but yes and it's 100 purrcent canon!!! and so cute but efurry ship is cute in its own way!
AC: :33 < sooo these are the red lovey dovey ships which you must already know a great deal about! they're most similar to human romance i think so i can't teach you much more about them than you already know!
OD: Who has crushed on who?
OD: And who do YOU ship?
OD: As far as Red goes?
AC: :33 < oh um
AC: :33 < *ac puffs her tail out and makes absolutely certain the biggest red ship of all is hidden*
AC: :33 < i have no fafurritism
AC: :33 < buuut if you wanna know somethings from the grapevine >:33
OD: Yes.
OD: I want to know every grape you have.
AC: :33 < there's dirtboy and sweaty and then terezi and your silly human friend
AC: :33 < those seem to be trending furr sure
OD: I knew about Christophe and Eq
OD: but Kenny's moved in on Terezi!
AC: :33 < efurrybody probably knows. that dumbbutt can be such a tool about his crushes!! you don't know the half of it
AC: :33 < oh, well
AC: :33 < even when we see a ship forming sometimes we simply can't stop ourselves from shipping them with others! that's the way of the heart
OD: Yeah man, like the Seadwellers?
OD: They HAVE to end up together.
OD: For the good of the Troll Race.
AC: :33 < they are a cute ship too but i prefur them in an auspisticism with sollux :'33
OD: Yeah man, someone's got to break up Eridan and Sollux quick.
OD: They're destined for failure and their kismesistude is going to fuck up the blood line.
OD: I guess we can get them to go ash with the Sea Princess and then hopefully, the more she talks to Eridan or whatever, they'll realize theye meant for each other.
OD: Are they even friends?
AC: :33 < yesss they are
OD: Good!
OD: So!
OD: What's the fucking problem?!
OD: Why aren't they smitten!?
OD: You'd THINK They would be by now, I mean theres only two of them right?
AC: :33 < but eric i dont think its very fair to want a ship to sink in favor of another
OD: but the how do you get what you want?!
OD: Also, what if its best for the two trolls TO break them up?
OD: My intentions are wholesome, I assure you.
OD: I just want whats best for your race.
OD: I mean Karkat and the fucking Fishtroll are Moirails.
OD: But Fishtroll doesnt even KNOW what Karkat's Blood color is
OD: Granted, they will never pail - so that's okay? But still!
OD: He should go pale with someone who can AT LEAST relate to him!
AC: :33 < well you write fanfics for what you want to happen! thats the MOST FUN part fur sure
AC: :33 < and be respectful of the two parties wishes
OD: Maybe I can write them and send them to them anonymously
OD: to get them starting to think about it...
AC: :33 < that sounds PURETTY amewsing if i do say so myself
OD: Like I ship Fishtrolls Red, The Blue Trolls Red, and Karkat and Bee Troll Red since theyre the only lowbloods Ive talked to
OD: besides you
OD: You're green so you must be.
AC: :33 < you sound so much like big sweaty if he got into "childish diaperpoop" shipping
OD: What the fuck did you ju - you mean Horse troll?
OD: Is that what he calls this?!
AC: :33 < nooo thats what i think he would say
AC: :33 < if he wasnt as serious
AC: :33 < and didnt have a stick up his butt
OD: So lowbloods are Red, Brown, Yellow and Karkat, then its You, Jade, Teal, Cerulean, then it's Indigo, Purple, Violet, Pink
OD: it's TOTALL POSSIBLE for them to fill all their quadrants with each other.
OD: the ones that matter that is
OD: Yellow <> Red, Yellow <3< Karkat, Yellow <3 Brown, Red <3 Karkat, Brown <> Karkat, Red <3< Brown
OD: Yeah! And I'll just do that for each level!
AC: :33 < *ac pounces od from behind and says no dummy thats not how things work with a claw in his face*
OD: Violet <3 Pink, Indigo <3 Purple, Violet <3< Indigo, Pink <3< Purple, Violet <> Purple, Pink <> Indigo
OD: Jade<3 Blue, Teal <3 Green, Teal <3< Blue, Jade <3< Green, Teal <> Jade, Blue <> Green
OD: Why not?
OD: It all makes sense!
AC: :33 < noope
AC: :33 < wrong
AC: :33 < so wrong
OD: But the bloodline is kept clean this way!
AC: :33 < screw the bloodline, there are more pawsibilities and oppurrtunities without it
OD: bad kitty
OD: bad!
AC: :33 < more shipping all around eric!
OD: Of course the blood line is important!
OD: Your society depends on it!
AC: :33 < mmrooow why!!
AC: :33 < its dumb
OD: Because that's what they all say!
OD: It's how you know who's in charge and cool and who's not
OD: !
OD: Do YOU keep to the bloodline?
AC: :33 < i dont know anything about it
AC: :33 < but a certain someone likes to stay up on his high horse because of it and hes gross so WHATEVER
OD: Horse troll?
AC: :33 < again, yes
OD: So you DONT keep to it, and HE'S a hypocrite.
OD: Fuck... you all need work.
OD: You're all in denial.
AC: :33 < oh really
OD: Yeah!
OD: Like, one second Horse Trolls rippin on the lowbloods and then
OD: well you're not a lowblood - but you're not a highblood!
OD: So what's his deal!
OD: now he tells me he doesn't find seadwellers attractive, so he has who!? Clown Troll to fill in all his quadrants?!
AC: :33 < they could make a furly nice kismesitude
AC: :33 < hey
AC: :33 < hey wait!
OD: What?
AC: :33 < equius might be a big giant hypurrcrite but he can like whoever the hell he wants, it may even be good for him i think
OD: He can't be black for him, since that would leave the seadwellers to fill in his fucking red quadrant and they need to be red together.
OD: The seadwellers that is.
OD: You have to convince him to go Black for Eridan, since Eridan's already black for him.
OD: I'm working on Sollux and Karkat.
AC: :33 < i wont push him into anything, especially with mister ampurra
OD: Especially?
AC: :33 < purrsonally he gives me the cr33ps!
AC: :33 < and black feelings are purrticularly tricky, you have to fester so much hate and n33d at the same time
AC: :33 < oh you wanted to learn more about that didnt you?
OD: I did, because Sollux and Karkat are black for each other, right?
AC: :33 < maybe in your shipper heart they are dumby
OD: I mean they aren't NOW but
OD: you see it right?
OD: You're a shipper too!
AC: :33 < yesss but
AC: :33 < i would n33d a good fic to get behind them
AC: :33 < you know?
OD: shit.
OD: Hold that thought, okay?
OD: And uh, your name is Nepeta, right?
OD: I think we already went over this but
OD: you're awesome.
OD: And a really good listener.
OD: So stay bitchtits, alright?
OD: I've got some catnip alchemized from my room you could have.
OD: I should have just alchemized the cat but I didn't think you could alchemize alive shit.
AC: :33 < !!?!!??!
AC: :33 < !!!
OD: So I brought this on the offchance I'd get a cat here.
OD: #4uk177y!
AC: :33 < what does staying bitchtits mean?
OD: It means cool.
OD: You're cool.
OD: You're one of the only cool people in this game.
AC: :33 < oooh
AC: :33 < bitchtits!
OD: Killer. You have fun with that Catnip.
OD: I've got a hatedate with Beetroll.
AC: :33 < you are a nice human eric but somehow i still f33l bad for sollux
OD: Yeah I'm going to mess him up pretty bad.
OD: But it'll be okay.
AC: :33 < *ac rolls around in her catnip with wide eyes*
AC: :33 < *ac waves her paw goodbye to the human and asks that he come again to the shipping cave!*


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Eric T. Cartman

April 2014

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