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-- omniponentDictator [OD] has started trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] --

OD: Hey Clown Guy.

OD: What's a Bard?

TC:oH sNaP wHo'S tHiS mUtHaFuCkA?

TC:aRe YoU oNe Of ThOsE hUmAn DaWgS?

OD: Yeah!

OD: But, I'm totally down with Troll shit.

OD: And I'm also a bard.

OD: So I need to know what that means.

OD: What's my power?

TC:oH, yOu'Re ThAt RoLlY PoLly DuDe. AlL rOuNd aNd sHiT. hOw YoU gEt lIkE ThAt? yOuR rOuNdNeSs Is MuThAfUcKiN pErFeCt. LiKe A fUcKiN mIrAcLe.

OD: I'm not round!

OD: I'm BUFF

OD: It is a miracle.

OD: I am a miracle to your race.

TC:iT's LiKe ThE mUtHaFuCkIn MeSsAiHs CaMe DoWn AnD sAiD, "mAkE tHiS bRoThER aS wIdE aS a HoOfBeAsT aNd ThEn RoLl HiM aRoUnD tIlL hE aLl PeRfEcT LiKe A bALl, aLl SmOoTh AnD sHiT.

OD: NO FUCK

TC:i CaN't DeAl WiTh It

OD: What part of me is like a FUCKING BALL besides my GIGANTIC BALLS.

TC:iT's lIkE I gOtTa RolL yOu ArOuNd

TC:fUcKiN cRaZy

OD: If I let you FUCKING roll me around

OD: will you TELL ME what a fucking BARD does you USELESS PURPLE CHUMP

TC:wHoA bRo, wHy yOu GoTtA bE HaRsHiNg Up ThE pLaCe? wAiT a FuCkIn MiNuTe... YoU sO rOuNd...yOu'Re FuCkIn ReLaTeD tO fUcKiN rEd BaLlOoN aReN't yOu!? TrY tO LiGhT fUcKiNg PeEpS ElBoWs On FiRe. hElL nO bRo, yOu AiN't GeTtInG mY ElBoWs.

OD: What's the red balloon? Are you talking in Code?

TC:nAw DaWg, I'm NoT tAlKiNg To SoMe DuDe WhO hAnGs WiTh ReD bAlLoOn. ThAt MuThAfUcKeR iS bAd NeWs.

OD: No No i'm not his friend

OD: I come seeking knowledge about

OD: the pies.

TC:yOu AiN't CoMiNg To sEt My BrO's ElBoWs On FiRe?

OD: No, because the trees already did that.

OD: Theyve known all along, Bro,

OD: I think it's about time you let /them/ know.

TC:mAn WhAt? yOu'Re NoT mAkInG aNy SeNsE dAwG. wE ShOuLd JaM AbOuT sOMeThINg ElSe. LiKe PiE.

OD: I'm TRYIN TO DECIPHER YOUR CODE.

TC:cOdE? wOw I dUnNo wHy YoU gETtIn AlL wOrKeD uP. YoU gOt AnY iCe CoLd nEaRbY tO cRaCk OpEn? ThAt ShIt kEeP yOu On ThE fUcKiN lEvEl

OD: Does that activate my bard powers?

TC:wElL iT's LiKe A wIcKeD mIrAcLe EliXiR tHaT tAkEs ThE BuMpS oUt ThE KrUnKs So YoU cAn PoP iT lIkE iT's HoT aNd lOcK lIkE It'S sMoOtH.

OD: That sound promising. I'll take it.

OD: Do you like pies too?

TC:sHiT yEaH DaWg, pIe Is tHE mUtHaFuCkIn BeSt

TC:eSpEcIaLlY wItH fUcKiN cOo HwHiP

TC:i'D fUcKiN ShArE SoMe BuT mY PiE iS RuNnInG fUcKiNg LoW

OD: I have every kind of pie ever.

TC:oH sHiT

TC:yO dAwG, cAn YoU hOoK a BrOtHa Up?

OD: Yeah if you give me Bard info

TC:oK

TC:wHaT's A bArD?

OD: You are.

TC:i'M whAt?

OD: THATS YOUR CLASS

OD: YOU'RE A BARD

OD: WHATS YOUR POWER

TC:OoOh Ok

TC:wHaT's A bArD?

OD: I DON"T KNOW YOU HAVE TO TELL ME, ASSHOLE!

TC:wHoA bRo, yOu RaGiN' uP a StOrM tHeRe. yOu GoTta ChIlL.

TC:iT's LiKe YoU'rE tRyInG tO DeStRoY mY BuzZ bRo

OD: I'm TRYING To give You PIE

OD: but you HAVE to tell me how you beat your denizen!

TC:wItH a ClUb

TC:oN hIs HeAd

OD: That's it>

TC:lIkE ReAlLy HarD

TC:tHaT's FuCkIn KeY

OD: So the key to being a Bard is... just being your own badass self and

OD: doing whatever you want and it just works?

TC:yEaH, yOu AlWaYs GoTta Be TrUe To YoUrSeLf AnD nOt DrOwN tHe ReAl YoU DeEp DoWn, OtHeRwIsE yOu GoNnA BuRsT aNd LoSe YoSeLf.

TC:sO LiKe WhAt kINd Of PiE yOu GoT?

OD: Every pie.

OD: Seriously.

TC:yOu gOt SlImE pIe?

OD: What's that?

TC:It'S fUcKiN sTuFf YoU pUt In PiE

TC:mAkEs iT aLl DeLiCiOuS aNd ShIt

OD: What color?

TC:iT's AlL gReEn AnD PiE CoLoReD aNd ShIt

OD: Wait, so you know what the Green Pie is!?

OD: I've been tryingto figure that shit out for MONTHS!

TC:iT's MuThAfUcKiN pIe DaWg

OD: What flavor even is it?

TC:pIe fLaVoR

OD: So it's like

OD: the essense of pie

OD: in a flavor.

TC:i DuNnO sHiT JuSt TaKeS lIkE pIe FuCkInG sHOuLd. AlL fUlL oF wHiMsY aNd sHiT

OD: Do you want some?

OD: I have a BUTFUCKTON of Green Pie here.

TC:sHiT yEaH bRo

OD: Yeah here #50p0rP13

OD: Now I have to go practice my Bard Powers.

OD: Thanks Clown Troll, I think I finally understand you.

TC:yEaH nO pRoBlEm My BlUbBeRy BrOThA

TC:bUt

TC:wHaT's A bArD?

[[od stopped trolling tc]]


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Eric T. Cartman

April 2014

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