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[personal profile] erictcartman
-- omnipotentDictator [OD] started pestering bootyInspector [BI] --

OD:

Kenny, so like, you can't go God Tier now?

BI:

dude I don't fucking know how that shit works lol

OD:

None of us do! But one thing was clear, and that was we need to die and have our spare ready.

Can't your spare like, come back from the dead?

Like you can?

BI:

dunno lol

OD:

Fuck man.

We need to get back at them.

BI:

like nobody ever gave me a rule book for this shit I kinda figure it out as we go

dude, what, no

OD:

I think that's the piont.

But seriously, I think I need to start a revenge cycle or something.

On fish troll.

You can'

BI:

nobody's honor needs avenging here wtf

OD:

t just kill someone's moirail.

No dude, it's what you're supposed to do!

BI:

dude wtf I'm not your monorail man

we aren't aliens

oh at least not troll aliens, lol

OD:

But we ARE though!

Objectively!

We fit the description, so deal with it.

BI:

like its inconvenient but whatever I don't really care, just leave it alone lol

OD:

Also I know how to get back at Douche fish guy anyway.

BI:

dude this is like some

hardcore furrykin shit man

OD:

It's something that needs to be done anyway.

I am NOT A FUCKING FURRY.

BI:

I'm worried about you and this troll shit

OD:

I just HAPPEN TO RECOGNIZE the SUPERIORITY of the Troll Race.

Trollian*

BI:

soon its gonna be body paint and fake horns on headbands

going to conventions for anonymous hookups with other trollkins

OD:

Oh shit they have those?

Not that I

'd EVER WANT TO GO

but that's fucking

wow.

BI:

lol Jesus dude

OD:

Man whatever.

maybe they're not so great

They brag about how theyre expert at relationships when they don't know the first god damn thing.

They're dating out of class and everything! And in THEIR society? That seems like a HUGE faux paux.

BI:

lol dude maybe they don't care?

OD:

Uh the highbloods do!

BI:

like there's only 12 of them are any of them the same color cuz like

between dating down and being forever alone

OD:

I think Fishtrolls just going rogue.

And I understand the appeal.

I mean look at Kyle and I

but Kyle and I are different.

He needs an intervention.

BI:

omfg dude

OD:

Fishtroll, that is.

BI:

you gotta find somebody else to whine at about the kyle thing its been like 8 years I need a tag-out

OD:

No Kyle and I are fine.

This is about Fishtroll and his pitch relationship with a Lowblood.

BI:

fishtroll needs to relax and like, stop killing people but who the fuck cares who he's fucking man

unless you're after some o dat merman ass

OD:

A lowblood who obviously knows its wrong and is reaching out to me to save him from such a taboo relationship.

No! Fuck that guy!

Beetroll's the one who's into me.

BI:

man I'm pretty sure none of the trolls are into any of us

OD:

That's not what Stan said.

BI:

sorry dude your trollkin dreams are a wash :(

I refuse to buy that Stan gives a fuck about troll dong man

OD:

Ugh its not JUST about Troll dong!

And stop calling me a trollkin!

I'm JUST adapting to their culture and being a good ambassador and shit.

And Stan C/Ped me part of a conversation where Sollux is CLEARLY indicating he's into me

Blackly.

and I want to make Kyle Jealous

also I need to get back at Eridan.

He just needs to move onto Horsetroll and score Red with Sea Princess and everything will be fine/

BI:

this is like

the worst idea

dude for real this is like A+ in levels of your bad ideas

don't try and do that surreal shit with the aliens

OD:

They CLEARLY NEED IT!

They can't go like

dip into other classes.

BI:

nobody needs you going crazy and making googoo cupid eyes

OD:

That shit's not right!

BI:

that's like, the last shit anyone needs

OD:

No dude it definitely needed.

Especially if they have to rebuild their race.

BI:

I thought they all jizzed into a big bug monster

OD:

They do but they pair off first.

I'm not sure why yet but that's clearly part of it.

So their pairs BETTER make sense of their whole race is toast.

And I'm not about to let their BALLS AWESOME SOCIETY get ruined by some fishtroll with a fetish.

lowblood fetish whateevr

I bet their all getting weird with each other at this point.

I have to find out more.

BI:

dude I think you're projecting here

OD:

How so?

BI:

like just cuz the dude's dating some other color or whatever doesn't mean he's got a fetish

OD:

Clearly he does or else why would he even bother

Theres higher classes to choose from

I mean he can't actually have REAL feelings for him.

Lowbloods aren't worth it!

BI:

man how do you know even like did one of them sit down and explain the whole

what color's what

maybe yellow's like next down dude

they're aliens who fuckin knows

OD:

Yeah the shouty troll told me all about it.

Violet and Yellow are complementary colors, Kenny!

Theyre OPPOSITES.

BI:

dude whatever it's alien klingon planet not science class

wtf is violet I thought he was purple

violet, fuck, like a mr darcy movie up in here

OD:

No the Clown is.

Clown's Purple.

BI:

violet and periwinkle tea napkins and shit

MAN the juggalo clown dude I gotta

talk to that

hahahahaha fuckin juggalos man that shit's the worst

OD:

That's just how it is! I don't know! I mean violets a pretty gay color but he seems hella gay.

Super mega stampsies no erasies gay.

And yeah I'm not looking forward to talking to Clown dude.

But I have to know more aboutt his bard shit.

I'm 2 dungeons away from my Denizen.

BI:

that's cool why don't you do that shit instead of playing matchmaker with aliens

OD:

I can do both Ken.

it's not that hard.

I just need an in. This cat girl knows whats up/

BI:

oh shit catgirl what

OD:

I have to message her so she can give me the lowdown on the situation.

BI:

neko chan? >:D

OD:

maybe?!?!?? She's into Shipping which is lame.

But she can at LEAST fill me in.

BI:

wtf is shipping

like fed ex what

OD:

When you like

idk its totally lame.

You like have these liek

ideas about fictional characters and who should be with who.

And you write and draw stuff about it. It's totally gay and ridiculous.

You have your favorite couples and they make names FOR that couple.

BI:

dude isn't that just what you do

OD:

NO.

NO ITS NOT KENNY.

BI:

uh huh

OD:

I am a MATCHMAKER

BI:

uh huh

OD:

the WHITE HITCH.

It's TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

My stories? Okay?

BI:

isn't hitch that dumb will smith movie

OD:

They're actual, and real documentation of possible scenarios that could happen based on FACT.

BI:

man that guy's career went down the toilet dude it was like, mib and independence day and then gay ass romcoms wtf

OD:

And yes it is but the premise is the same.

Shouty is totally into him.

BI:

will smith?

OD:

"Troll" Will Smith.

BI:

how the fuck is there a troll will smith

what is there like

troll versions of everybody

is this like some weird parallel planet where we're all trolls

dude "troll" cartman stole your sweet troll lifestyle sucks for you

meanwhile "troll" kenny mccormick is fucking "troll" jennifer lawrence hells yea

lol

OD:

Fuck.

I never even thought of that.

That's LAME AS BALLS.

Well Troll Cartman is dead now, sucks to be him.

BI:

lol guess so

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Eric T. Cartman

April 2014

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