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-- omniponentDictator [OD] has started trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --


OD: Karkat, can I ask you a question?


CG: JEGUS.


CG: WHAT

OD: Is it possible for a troll to have black feelings for an Alien?


CG: WHAT??

OD: I just want to know.


CG: NO


CG: THAT'S RIDICULOUS

OD: For my own resear- what, REALLY?


CG: HOW THE FUCK WOULD THAT EVEN WORK

OD: I don't know! Ask your Bee Friend!


CG: PART OF KISMESSITUDE IS FILLING YOUR BUCKETS FOR THE DRONES


CG: YOU COULDN'T DO THAT WITH AN ALIEN WITHOUT GETTING CULLED


CG: IT WOULD BE LIKE FEELING BLACK FOR YOUR FAVORITE GAMEGRUB


CG: WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT??


CG: AND WHY WOULD SOLLUX BE THE ONE TO ASK

OD: Does Black Feels ONLY have to do with Making Wrigglers?

OD: Because APPARENTLY

OD: RUMOR HAS IT

OD: He's black for a Human.

OD: You didn't hear this from me though.


CG: NO HE ISN'T.

OD: Uh, yeah he is.

OD: I can get proof.


CG: GO FUCK YOURSELF, NO HE ISN'T.


CG: HE'S MY BEST FRIEND, I'D FUCKING KNOW

OD: How

OD: would that make a difference.


CG: WHATEVER PROOF YOU'VE GOT IS ABOUT AS FAKE AS YOUR ATTEMPTS AT QUADRANTS

OD: He's your moirail?


CG: NO


CG: IF HE WAS MY MOIRAIL I'D HAVE SAID HE'S MY MOIRAIL, IDIOT

OD: You just said he was your Best Friend!


CG: THEY'RE NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING!!!!!!!


CG: HOLY FUCK SAVE ME FROM IDIOTIC ALIENS

OD: They're not?!


CG: NO!


CG: YOU CAN BE BEST FRIENDS WITH YOUR MOIRAIL, IT'S NOT LIKE THEY NEVER OVERLAP


CG: BUT A MOIRALLEGANCE IS A SPECIFIC AND SPECIAL ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP BASED ON BALANCING AND PACIFICATION AND


CG: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, ESSENTIALLY, SINCE HUMANS DON'T DO QUADRANTS

OD: Nah that proves it, Kenny's my moirail and best friend.

OD: Anyway this is what YOUR best friend isn't telling you:

OD:

TA: hey 2hiit2ponge.

L2S: Hey lisp dude

wait I thought you blocked me

or fuck...d losing track

of which trolls have me blocked


TA: ehehe no ii need 2hiit from you.

what the fuck kiind of 2hiit gro22e2 od out?

ii triied putting 2ome raunchya22 guy blackrom 2hiit on hii2 da2h 2iince apparently that2 you fucker2 nono button but he fuckiing liike2 iit.

2o now ii have hiim crawliing all over my bulge for more.

OD: Total blackflirting, right?


CG: HARDLY.

OD: UNBLOCKED Stan to get to me.

OD: STAN.

OD: You all HATE Stan.

OD: Man he must have it BAD for me.

OD: Awesome.


CG: BECAUSE STAN'S A LIVING BREATHING PILE OF FETID SOLIDIFIED WASTE


CG: BUT SOLLUX IS JUST A SHIT

OD: A shit with a Troll Boner for me.

OD: Wanting me to crawl all over it.


CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS A BONER

OD: Oh shit i think I saw this in one of your porns

OD: It was caled a wiggly?

OD: Shit thats like 2nd Grade right there.


CG: OH MY FUCK. WHY IS THIS CONVERSATION HAPPENING.


CG: WHY IS AN ALIEN TALKING ABOUT UNSHEATHED BULGES AT ME

OD: BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW IF ITS TRUE.


CG: WHAT EXACTLY DID I DO TO EARN THIS???


CG: I'VE LIVED A SHITTY LIFE, I'LL ADMIT IT, BUT NOTHING WORTH THIS


CG: MAYBE THE UNIVERSE JUST KNOWS I'M GOING TO FUCK UP IN SOME PREVIOUSLY UNTHOUGHT OF WAY


CG: AND IS PREEMPTIVELY PUNISHING ME

OD: Heard you got into a Fight with Stan.

OD: How'd that go.


CG: IF BY FIGHT YOU MEAN AN ELEGANT SERVING OF HIS OWN ASS BACK TO HIM, THEN YEAH

OD: Elegant?

OD: What other words would you describe it as?


CG: BRUTAL AND EFFICIENT


CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOUR RACE BECOME THE DOMINANT SPECIES ON YOUR PLANET WITH SUCH A LACK OF DEFENSIVE FEATURES


CG: SQUISHY, THIN SKIN, NO NAILS, FLAT TEETH, SHORT


CG: WAS EARTH JUST SOME KIND OF SOFT, PANSY, PILLOWFORT OF A PLANET?


CG: WERE YOUR BIGGEST EVOLUTIONARY RIVALS DEAF AND BLIND WORMBEASTS??

OD: No, I WISH but.

OD: I mean I'M fucking strong as shit and i can take anyone down.

OD: But some fucks are born weak as balls.

OD: So they die first.


CG: THE OTHER HUMANS HAVE ALL CLARIFIED THAT YOU ASSHOLES DON'T CULL YOUR WEAK OR INFIRM

OD: Natural Selection.

OD: Aids etc

OD: Street Violence

OD: ODing from Drugs..

OD: That shit.


CG: WHATEVER


CG: SPOILER: I DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT


CG: YOU'RE THE ONLY ONES LEFT AND YOU'RE ALL PATHETIC, SO IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF THERE WERE ANY DECENT HUMANS AROUND SHAMEFULLY WITHOLDING THEMSELVES FROM YOUR GENE POOLS OR NOT


CG: THEY'RE DEAD NOW

OD: Yeah I'm not really interested in "pailing" anyone on our team.


CG: YOU CAN'T PAIL, YOU'RE AN ALIEN


CG: HOLY FUCK.


CG: IS THIS WHAT BEING HUMAN HIGH FEELS LIKE? IS THIS SENSE OF TOTAL DISCONNECTION FROM ANYTHING I RECOGNIZE AS REALITY WHAT SOLLUX WAS TALKING ABOUT??

OD: Oh nooooo

OD: Sollux is a pothead?

OD: That's going to change when we go Pitch.


CG: HERE, I'M GOING TO BREAK THIS INTO TINY LITTLE RETARD WORDS FOR THE RETARD


CG: (THAT'S YOU!)


CG: SOLLUX ISN'T BLACK FOR YOU


CG: SOLLUX HAS A KISMESIS ALREADY


CG: AND, FRANKLY, YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH CAPTOR ANYWAY

OD: Well he's OBVIOUSLY NOT SATISFIED if he's going around asking the WORST HUMAN ALIVE how to ANNOY ME

OD: so I can CRAWL ALL OVER HIS BULGE.


CG: HE LIKES HIS RIVALS SMART

OD: I AM FUCKING SMART.


CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


CG: LOOK, IT'S SARCASTIC LAUGHTER!

OD: BE SARCASTIC ALL YOU WANT.

OD: THE EVIDENCE IS SPLAYED OUT FOR OU

OD: So tell whoever is his kissmesis that HE'S MOVED ON.

OD: SORRY

OD: He wants some ALIEN FUCKING ASS.


CG: IF MENTIONING HIS BULGE IN THE SAME SENTENCE AS SOMEONE ELSE MEANT CAPTOR WAS PITCH, HE WOULD BE GETTING MORE SPADES THAN A PITCHPORN STAR


CG: AND YES, I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT!


CG: ALERTING ERIDAN THAT ANOTHER SHITTY ALIEN IS FUCKING WITH ONE OF HIS QUADRANTS, WHAT A FANTASTIC FUCKING IDEA

OD: oh shit


CG: HELL, MAYBE HE'S STILL GOT BLOOD ON HIS FACE FROM RIPPING OPEN BI'S DREAMBODY, THEN HE'LL ONLY HAVE TO WASH HIS HIDEOUS HAIR ONCE!

OD: wait

OD: so i have to fight fishtroll

OD: Oh shit no

OD: Theyre pitch?! But Fishtroll is Royalty!


CG: OH. MY. FUCK.

OD: And Fucking Sollux, he's kind of a shitty tier, right?

OD: OHhh my god.'


CG: BJK;LVBJK;LCBJKBJKLCJKL


CG: BJVL


CG: JK;LC

OD: Oh noooo fuck they'll never accept it


CG: WOW, THANKS, ASSHOLE, I JUST FUCKEDU P MY KEYBOARD WITH MY SKULL

OD: How the FUCK is he going to explain to his fucking Fish Royal Court

OD: He can't mess up the bloodline!


CG: ........WHAT??????????

OD: OH fuck

OD: Damn it its perfect

OD: but they don't belong together

OD: It's so tragic


CG: WHAT IN ALL SHITTING FUCKS ARE YOU SPEWING FROM YOUR GIBBERING NOISE GASH?

OD: THEIR UNFORTUNATE SITUATION

OD: Theyre pitch for each other but its a prince and palper type deal

OD: And I totally get it, I'm white Aryan and my kissmeshits a JEw


CG: WHAT THE SHIT IS A PAUPER?

OD: so like, I see the Appeal?

OD: But its WAY DIFFERENT FOR HIM

OD: I'm

OD: I'm going to have to break it to him that it won't work.


CG: OH NO


CG: FUCK THAT


CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOUR SOPORED, DELUSIONAL BRAIN HAS APPARENTLY THOUGHT UP

OD: I obviously have a better chance if I'm a "Rustblood" which is totally lame but whatever


CG: BUT WHATEVER *MYSTICAL FANTASTY* INVOLVING HUMAN PAUPERS AND FISH COURT IS STAYING *IN YOUR BRAIN*


CG: HE'S ALREADY OUT FUCKING YOU ASSHOLES UP


CG: IF YOU TRY AND RILE HIM UP MORE I'LL PUT A SICKLE THROUGH YOUR DREAMSELF'S EYESOCKET

OD: What, are you involved too?

OD: But you're hemoanonymous! I don't even know WHO to pair you with


CG: WHAT?!


CG: WAIT IS THIS


CG: ARE YOU *SHIPPING US*?!!!?

OD: But Fishtroll and Sollux can NOT stay together

OD: it's said and perfect in a TRAGIC sense

OD: but it won't work

OD: No

OD: Eridan and Fishy Princess wree OBVIOUSLY meant to be together

OD: and he should OBS be black for horse dude


CG: NO, FUCK THIS, I ALREADY HAVE TO BORDERLINE TOLERATE THIS FROM NEPETA

OD: since theyre noble and shit


CG: I REFUSE TO ACCEPT SOME BULLSHIT IGNORANT ALIEN IS DOING THIS SHIT TOO

OD: Well YOU'RE LUCKY

OD: BECAUSE I CANT PAIR YOU WITH ANYONE

OD: NOT YET

OD: NOT UNTIL I KNOW WHERE YOUR CLASS IS


CG: WOW SPOILER: YOUR CHILDISH AND RETARDED SHIPPING WALL HAS NO ACTUAL EFFECT ON REALITY!

OD: WHATEVER

OD: WHATEVER

OD: I'm a GREAT Hitch!


CG: I WILL CONTINUE ALONG WITH MY QUADRANTS AS PLANNED, CONFIDENT IN THE FACT THAT UNLIKE THE OTHER PERSON IN THIS CHAT WINDOW I'M NOT SO WILLFULLY IGNORANT THAT IT'S ACTUALLY EMBARRASSING

OD: I'm the WHITE Hitch!


CG: **FUCK YOU THAT MOVIE WAS TERRIBLE***


CG: YOU

OD: I already helpd out so many of my friends!


CG: AND YOUR SHITTY PLANET


CG: TOOK A GREAT FUCKING PLOT


CG: AND RUINED IT WITH YOUR SHITTY TROLL WILL SMITH KNOCK OFF AND YOUR SINGLE QUADRANT BULLSHIT


CG: IF YOU HAD THE SLIGHTEST FUCKING SHRED OF DECENCY YOU'D CULL YOURSELF TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR SPECIES INFLICTING THAT ON THE UNIVERSE

OD: No man, I have too much work to do.

OD: You guys need direction in your relationships.


CG: OH MY SHIT


CG: NO


CG: I AM GOING TO


CG: I WILL TELL NEPETA YOU'RE ACTIVELY TRYING TO SINK HER SHIPS


CG: SHE'LL TELL EQUIUS


CG: YOU WILL HAVE EQUIUS ZAHHAK COME FOR YOUR BLOOD

OD: Someone else is into this shit?

OD: Oh man which one is Nepeta


CG: YES, WHAT A GOOD IDEA. GO ARGUE WITH HER ABOUT THIS. PERFECT.


CG: ARSENICCATNIP

OD: Done.

[[OD stopped pestering CG]]


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Eric T. Cartman

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